I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
