i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
