Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I believe in your delicious
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize