i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
