I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
