I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Randomize
