don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
