We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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