Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
