I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
