Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
