It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm having to shit out rocks
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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