i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
