I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
