so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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