My room smells like vodka and shame
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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