That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
