I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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