now i know why i became what i already was.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
