I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
