pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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