Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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