real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
