So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
