you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
