Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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