Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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