I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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