If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
