There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The Olympian is in my bed
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
