ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We need a shit load of segways right now
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
