Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
