Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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