i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
