It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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