Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
