Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
