I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
