The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
