that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
