I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
