you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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