So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
