Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
