I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
