Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
