Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
pray to the hookup gods
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
