On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
