ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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