I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
