I heard we made out
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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