yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
