dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
