I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize