I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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