Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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