I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
